About these resources
We try to update these resources as often as possible. We include resources that we have reviewed and believe will be helpful to our clients. We do not specifically endorse any of the websites referred to and we have no affiliation with any of them.
Family Violence
If you are in immediate danger please call 000. If you are not in immediate danger, but you are experiencing violence in your relationship, please feel free to contact us. Whether or not you choose to engage us as your lawyer, we are happy to give you some information about family violence services to help you. We will not charge you just for pointing you in the right direction.
If someone is perpetrating Family or Domestic Violence against you, you are not alone, and it is not your fault. There are many websites you can go to for help, or to find out how to get help face-to-face. The Exit button at the top right corner of this page will take you straight to Google homepage. If you feel unsafe just click the button and pretend you are searching for something non-threatening like cute animal videos. Most of the websites listed below also have Exit buttons that do the same thing if you feel you will be in danger for seeking help.
It is important to note that research shows that most Family Violence is perpetrated by men, against women. This does not mean that men are not victim/survivors, nor does it mean that women do not perpetrate violence. It also does not mean that non-binary folk are not experiencing or using violence. What is does mean though, is that most services are aimed specifically at men using violence, or women experiencing violence. We have tried to include a variety of resources below, for all folk, whether you are experiencing or using violence.
Safe Steps Family Violence Response Centre offers 24 hour immediate support for anyone experiencing family and domestic violence. You can call 1800 015 188 or visit the website at safesteps.org.au. Safe Steps also has a lot of information about what actions might be Family and Domestic Violence, the Types of Abuse and Early Warning Signs.
Insight Exchange is a website that provides free (donated) information, insights and reflection materials to people in any community, service or system. It has messages from people who have lived experience of Family and Domestic Violence in the ‘Listening’ section. It also offers a Safety Kit, which has a video and a Booklet that you can download, to help you reflect about what is going on in your relationship.
Fullstop Australia provides information and referral to services for people experiencing or using violence. They have a phone number and a live chat option (button at the bottom right of the screen). The Something Happened to Me page explains what to expect when you speak to one of their counsellors, how to make a Safety Plan, and provides printed and digital resources about Family Violence.
The Orange Door website is a free referral service for those experiencing family violence. On the Orange Door website you can search for family violence help in your area, as well as find information about family violence.
The Rainbow Door is a free helpline and specialist support service for LGBTIQA+ Victorians, their friends and families. You can text, email or call them during their operating hours of 10am to 5pm every day. They can connect with AUSLAN or multilingual support if you are not comfortable communicating in English.
Is your behaviour hurting people?
If you are worried that your behaviour is hurting someone, or you are reacting aggressively, violently or in a controlling way and you want to stop, there are many places you can go for support. There may be many reasons why you are behaving in a way that hurts others, but if you have read this far then you are on the right track to accepting and wanting to change your behaviour. That is a massive, courageous step.
No to Violence has information for men and boys who want help to be loving, safe partners. If you are worried that your behaviour is hurting those you love, they offer a referral service to help you find a program that can help you grow. You can contact them by phone, or using the live chat link in the bottom right corner of the website. If you are worried about reading the website in front of others, there is an Exit button at the top right.
Fullstop Australia has a page with a checklist of questions to ask yourself if you are worried about your behaviour, or think that you may be controlling or hurting someone.
MensLine Australia has a lot of useful information for men who are having difficulties in relationships or expressing / feeling emotions. They offer counselling, mental health services and family violence services, including the Changing for Good program, which offers one-to-one counselling for men who have completed a Men’s Behaviour Change program and want help to implement what they learnt and keep behaving in a healthy, safe way.
Drummond Street Services in Melbourne has a program called Futures Free from Violence (FFFV). The program “offers women, trans, and gender diverse people who have used force and/or violence in family and intimate partner relationships the opportunity to work towards change in both a supported group and one-to-one therapeutic environment.” They also offer a program called Standing Together that supports “young people and their families experiencing substantial conflict within their family with a child or young person that may be enacting, or at risk of enacting harm towards others in the home.”
Dardi Munwurro provides help and healing for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander men. They offer a range of family violence programs which aim “to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma in Aboriginal families and communities”, such as residential programs, gatherings, camps and youth programs for men and boys. Their programs “are designed to assist Aboriginal men and youth to identify their emotions and personal strengths, and in doing so, discover their own responsibility.”
Collaborative Law
Did you know that you don’t have to have conflict or go to Court when you end a relationship? Collaborative professionals work together to help separating couples divide their assets and make arrangements for the children, in a healthy, For more information about how Collaborative Law works, have a look at the Victorian Association of Collaborative Professionals website. Georgia Simson is a trained Collaborative Practitioner and can help you sort through your separation using collaborative practices. See our Collaborative Law page for more information.
Getting Divorced Online
If you feel up to it, you can file your own Divorce Application on the Commonwealth Courts Portal. You can make an account for the Portal here. You will not need an account for the Portal if we are acting for you, as we will file the documents for you and provide you with copies. We also run free Divorce Clinics in Victoria when we can, where you can bring your own device and we will talk you through filing your divorce online.
Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (FCFCOA)
This is the court that will deal with your Family Law matter, if you and your ex-partner are not able to work things out between you. The Court encourages people who are separating to try to resolve their property division and arrangements for their children before going to Court. If that is not possible, then the Court’s first step once you reach court will usually be to assist you to mediate with your ex-partner (there may be times when this is not appropriate). The FCFCOA website has a lot of fact sheets and information available for separating couples.
Child Development
After separation it is essential to design a routine that is developmentally suitable for your children. Raising Children has a lot of information about stages of development, set out in stages from Pregnancy, Newborns, Babies and Toddlers to Preschoolers, School age, Pre-teens and Teens. It even has a section on Grown Ups. We like it because the information is easy to find, no matter how old your children are.
Startingblocks.gov.au briefly describes some of the stages of development that children go through from birth to five years. Understanding your child’s developmental stage(s) can help you design a routine to suit them after you separate. This page also has information about childcare options.
Simple Psychology has a lot of accessible information about pscyhology and child development. It gives a fairly in-depth, but easy to understand explanation of Attachment Theory - this is the theory that states that children form strong attachments to those who respond accurately and sensitively to their needs. A basic understanding of Attachment Theory may help you to design a good routine for your baby / toddler after separation.
Parenting
Raising Children also has lots of information about parenting, which is explained in different, accessible ways. There are tips in pictures and videos, as well articles. The information is broad, from connecting with your teenager to raising multilingual toddlers or children with a disability. Their article Helping children adjust after separation or divorce is a good starting point when you first separate. After you have read this article we can lead you through more examples of the types of questions you can expect from your children and discuss some possible answers that are right for your family.
Family Relationships Online also has a good article on Talking to children about separation.
Property & Finances
The Australian Securities and Investment Commission (ASIC)’s Money Smart website has a detailed list of things to consider about your finances when you separate. It even has a checklist of actions you should take after separation (some of those actions you should consider taking before you separate, if you are considering separation - we can advise you on that). It also has a budget planner, to help you adjust to living on one income.
The Australian Taxation Office (ATO) can help you find out if you have ‘lost super’ - that is, superannuation that you forgot about or was in an account you did not know about.
On the Landata website you can order a copy of the Certificate of Title for your home, if you do not have a copy. The details of the Title will be needed if you are going to transfer the ownership of your home from both names to one, or from one to the other. We can order this Certificate for you, if you find that easier.
LGBTQIA+ support
Although the above services are for people in any sort of relationship breakdown, we realise that members of the LGBTQIA+ community often have specific issues or just want to speak to someone who understands their situation. These services may be helpful:
QLife - Support and Referrals for the LGBTQIA+ community and a webchat service. They state the follwoing on their website: “The QLife family includes hundreds of highly experienced staff and volunteers Australia-wide. If you're looking to connect with someone to explore what's going on in your life, we're here to chat and to take your call from 3pm-9pm each day.”
The LGBT Foundation offers support in a range of areas. To see how they can help visit their website here: How we can help you – LGBT Foundation.
The Rainbow Door is a free helpline and specialist support service for LGBTIQA+ Victorians, their friends and families. Their website states they operate 10am-5pm every day. Call 1800 729 367, text 0480 017 246 or email support@rainbowdoor.org.au.
